I Couldn't Say Goodbye
by Giancarla
Summary: The saga of Serena and Darien continues in this latest story. The morning after a passionate night, reality and fantasy must separate once more to finally bridge the gap between the two star-crossed lovers.


Hiya everyone! Well, I decided to end this   
series, the series started by "Once In A Blue Moon",   
"Tell Me", and "I Wanna Be With You". I wanted   
closure to the story and I'm sure all you people want   
one too. So, thanks for following this series since the   
beginning, and I hope you'll follow more of my works in   
the future.  
  
Thanks to Jade_Max, for being my first fanfic   
author in my website, she's always full of ideas to help me   
out of Writer's Block too. Alexia-chan, my editor, who is   
doing a terrific job with correcting my oopsies. Lady   
Shay and Redrose who are there to give me their honest   
opinion about the fanfics. Their inputs are vital to my fanfics.   
Carolyn, my friend, who is always there to squeal whenever   
I have a fanfic out. =) Sonja, who is always there to   
chat! Thank you to many others which are too many to   
properly mention.  
  
Visit my website:   
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Highrise/3867  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon or make money out of   
fanfics. I don't own the song either, it's by Tom Jones.   
(Eepp! I KNOW! Crazy!)  
  
I Couldn't Say Goodbye  
By: Callista Matthews  
E-mail: Callista_Matthews@sailormoon.com  
Editor: Alexia-chan  
Rated: PG-13 language and some situations  
  
The moon started its descent from the night sky   
as it paved the way for the sun. Here it was, finally, the   
dreaded "morning after". In the Tsukino house, everyone   
and everything seemed to be still within the grasp of the   
dream world. All but one occupant was still unconscious of  
the consequences of the previous night.   
  
Darien was already awake at dawn, being an early   
riser by instinct. He was still lying down next to Serena,   
with the sheet covering him to the waist. He rose slightly to   
put his weight on one of his elbows. He looked down at the   
woman whose bed he was sharing and realized that after this   
morning, he had to make a crucial decision. He could either   
leave calmly, lying again to Serena, tell her that what happened   
meant nothing, and continue to break her fragile heart, or give   
up and risk her life for one selfish night of loving.   
  
He knew he loved her very much, too much for words   
to form, but her life meant more to him than any of his needs.   
  
*~* I watch you as you're sleeping, as I'm standing at the door.   
I don't want to let you go, but I can't hold on anymore *~*  
  
His heart throbbed. It hurt him to have to leave her.   
All his heart could ever want was in his arms, yet it was the   
only thing he couldn't have.   
  
*~* I just can't find the strength to say I'm leaving you. It's  
over now, it's over now and there's nothing I can do *~*  
  
Outside, a thunderstorm was on the verge of falling.  
Darien rose, as carefully and as unobtrusive as he could   
manage. He picked up his clothes and put them on again. He   
strode to the window, prepared to leave without a backwards  
glance. He knew if he allowed his eyes to drift back to Serena's  
sleeping form, he'd never be able to go. He halted at the window  
sill, thinking for a moment and let out a tortured sigh. He turned  
and walked to Serena's desk. He took out a leaf of paper and used  
the rabbit pen on the desk. He scribbled a few words and turned   
to leave again. He passed by Serena again, tempted to to kiss her  
one final time, but he shook his head and flew out the window.  
  
*~* I couldn't say goodbye, couldn't stand the pain. Couldn't   
watch you cry, knowing that you're heart would break. *~*  
  
Darien walked back to his apartment, unconcicous   
of the storm gathering around him, only concious of the   
storm gathering within his heart. He hoped to any of the  
gods watching that he did the right thing. Not the right  
thing for himself, because he already knew that without her,   
he would only be a shell without insides. A shell without  
a heart. He wished that he had done the right thing for   
Serena's sake.  
  
*~* So I let you sleep, till the morning light. When you   
wake up, and you read the note I write. Telling you that  
I couldn't say goodbye *~*  
  
Serena woke up, feeling disoriented and confused.  
  
'What happened?' She thought.   
  
Sudden rush of memories lifted a blush over her   
cheeks. After she finished blushing, she looked around,   
hoping that Darien was still around. She found no trace that  
Darien had even been in the room except for the faint scent  
of roses that always accompanied him. She started to smile,  
but then she realized the consequences of their passionate  
night. The depression that only dissipated temporarily   
settled over her once more, this time, putting her soul in  
a stronger sense of anguish and pain. Her eyes were   
swimming in unshed tears as she scanned her room. Her  
gaze fell to a piece of paper sitting solitairily on her desk.  
  
She raised herself up and strode to her desk,  
wondering what that letter may contain. Her tears finally  
spilled as she read the letter.  
  
'Serena--  
I know that you're in pain right now,   
  
and I am really sorry to be the cause of it. I  
  
can't explain why, but this night never should  
  
have happened. I can push the blame to a   
  
sudden attach of hormones, and you were  
  
vulnerable. I took advantage, and for that, I am  
  
sorry. Our situation still stands. I don't want to  
  
see you anymore and there will not be a repeat  
  
performance of last night. I'm sorry that we   
  
can't remain friend either, I guessed that it would  
  
be easier this way. I haven't forgotten our past,  
  
but it's time to move on. What's in the past,   
  
should remain in the past. I hope that someday  
  
you'll forgive me for breaking your heart.   
  
I'm sorry.  
  
--Darien'  
  
Serena's legs gave way and she slumped to   
the floor, sobbing.  
  
*~* I'm walking down this rainy street, thinking you're  
awake by now. As you read my letter, and the tears  
fall from your eyes. *~*   
  
Darien reached his apartment, feeling the   
loneliest he's ever been. After the night before, he would   
never be able to think of Serena without crying himself.  
She was the only family he has ever known and now he's  
turning his back to her. He knew he looked ungrateful   
for the love and trust she gave him. He couldn't  
feel more torn apart in different directions than he's feeling  
now.  
  
He looked around his apartment, thinking   
of the future, knowing with all his being that it   
looked ever bleaker than what he pictured before.   
Now that he added this situation into the mix.  
  
Darien looked outside where the thunder  
and lightning were ravaging Tokyo with its destructive  
force, also knowing that a stronger storm raged in   
his heart.  
  
*~* Just know that I tried to make it work, but  
it just wasn't meant to be. I needed you, I needed  
you, but not the way you needed me *~*  
  
The birds chirped outside Serena's bedroom  
as the sun rose to find the Princess of the Moon   
sobbing her heart out, crying in pain.   
  
'Damn you Darien, damn you!' She raged with  
all the torment and bitterness she felt enveloping her   
shattered heart. 'I'll just have to move on without you.  
I can't keep hoping and getting shot down again. No   
matter how I love you, it will never work!'  
  
She picked herself up as well at the shattered  
pieces of what's left of her heart off the floor. She decided  
right there and then that she was never going to give her   
love to someone else without them earning it. She was   
tired of wearing her heart on her sleeve, exposed to everyone  
who could hurt her further.  
  
*~*I couldn't say goodbye. Couldn't stand the pain. Couldn't   
watch you cry. Knowing that your heart would break. So I   
let you sleep. Till the morning light. When you wake up and   
you read the note I write. Telling you that I. I couldn't say   
goodbye*~*  
  
The sky remain dark as the heavens cried for a love  
that was fated to be yet seeming to be unable to overcome  
the tests placed on its road. The moon hid behind the clouds,  
waiting, veiled behind the sky.   
  
Serena looked blankly to the angry clouds. Normally  
this would scare her out of her wits, but at that moment, she  
couldn't care less and just stopped to pass time.  
  
*~*I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't want to make you cry.  
It's over now, yes it's over now. I just couldn't say goodbye*~*  
  
Darien buried his face in his hands, just wanting to   
wake up from this nightmare. Hoping that this was all a dream  
and he would wake up with Serena still loving him with her  
special brand of loviing. Hoping that the night they spent was  
the only reality that he would hold in his heart and mind.   
Hoping that there will be a time for them in the eternity   
that they promised each other.  
  
*~*I couldn't say goodbye. Couldn't stand the pain. Couldn't   
watch you cry. Knowing that your heart would break. So I   
let you sleep. Till the morning light. When you wake up and   
you read the note I write. Telling you that I. I couldn't say   
goodbye*~*  
  
Until next time...  
  
Sappy, I know. I just wanted to finish this one after an eternity   
of sitting in my file. One more part to go and this saga will be  
wrapped up! Finally, huh? Well, please review! Through  
e-mail or at the bottom of this fanfic in Fanfiction.net  
Callie_Matthews@yahoo.com  
  
Laters!   
  
  
  



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